 |
What
do you mean, you don't want to be a cosigner? |
|
|
Honey,
do you have a credit card? (If your answer is no, you will no longer
be called honey. Guaranteed.) |
|
|
Do you have a car? |
|
|
Do
you have gas? |
|
|
Exactly
WHY can't/won't you make my car payment? |
|
|
Do
you got any money? |
|
|
Do
you and your girlfriend got any beer? |
|
|
Is
there a credit union where you work? |
|
|
It
really pisses me off that your welfare check isn't bigger! |
|
|
Can
you call my probation officer? |
|
|
And
just WHY won't you give me bail money (for my sister/cousin/friend/-gulp..Mom)? |
|
|
Whadda
ya mean - you won't do it if I'm married? - My wife's knocked up -
I got needs.... |
|
|
Honey,
I got such a hangover; call my boss and tell him I'm sick. |
|
|
If
my girlfriend sees me with you, I'm dead meat. |
|
|
If
my wife sees me with you, I'm dead meat. |
|
|
Honey,
c'mon - cash this check for me - swear to God - next Friday, it's
as good as gold. |
|
|
Just
because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can't work two jobs. |
|
|
Ah,
quit your crying, it was only sex with her. |
|
|
I
think I might be in love with you (you've been dating for a year -
and doing sleepovers for 6 months). |
|
|
Maybe
I love you and maybe I don't - I'm not sure. (Hmmm - funny... He never
had any doubt about whether or not he wanted a quickie - this is a
scientific curiosity, indeed, how the phenomena of romantic indecision
can just come over a guy. However, in Jiltgirl's observation, it most
frequently manifests itself when he is...ahem...drained dry...so to
speak.) |
|
|
Hey,
don't be that way...the only reason I didn't show up on New Year's
is that my Grandma died - (Grandma has more lives than a cat - Grandma
has also died on Valentines Day, your birthday and on a long 4th Of
July weekend.) |
|
|
Condoms
are for sissies - just for gays. |
|
|
They
don't make condoms big enough for me. |
|
|
I'm
telling you - having a lap dance isn't cheating - the guys made me. |
|
|
I'm
telling you - I didn't cheat on you - we only did oral. |
|
|
I've
always preferred tall, dark, thin women...(You are 5'2", blonde
and ah...well endowed.) |
|
|
I've
always preferred petite, dainty blondes with lots of curves...(You
are tall, brunette, statuesque...and a 34AA.) |
|
|
I
don't even NOTICE women unless they're 10 or 20 years younger than
I am. (He's 37 and you're 38.) |
|
|
When
YOU say "I love you," HE says "Thank you." (When you tell a man you
love him, there is ONE and ONLY ONE acceptable response he can make
- and it ISN'T "Thank you." Thank you is the Kiss of Relationship
Death - run, girlfriend, run!) |
